Final Decision

David Russell - "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn."

I will be going to Mississippi State University this fall...

I got accepted to the Professional Golf Management (PGM) program at MSU recently so my decision is to pursue that major with my life.  I has been a ROUGH road leading me to this decision.  I love Auburn with all my heart, and there are certain people there who I also love with all my heart, but MSU presents me with the best opportunity for my future.

So why MSU and this PGM program?
     1.) Upon graduation I'll graduate with a degree in BOTH PGM and business administration, so this gives me options.
     2.) There is 100% job placement after graduation, and in this economy, I need all the help I can get.
     3.) There are 24 different types of jobs available for a PGM major in a field that I have a passion for, and countless options for the business administration major.
     4.) I realized that I suck at saving money...... So I'm gonna have to have a well-paying job to support my family the way I want to, and someone who graduates with a PGM major averages around $90,000 a year.
     5.) I think it's no secret that golf is my passion.
     6.) I will have a total of 5 semesters in the next 3 years interning at golf courses all over the nation, so it is a chance for me to spread my wings and explore other areas of the US.

It saddens me every day knowing I will never be a student at Auburn University, but I believe this is God finally pointing me in a direction that's best for me.  The final decision hit me about two months ago on the way to my friend's house... and I fully believe that that moment was one of the changing points in my life.
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My dad always says how he regrets his college experience.... how he spent too much time partying and not enough time studying- yeah..... but the main thing he says is how he regrets not touching other people with his life.  I plan on using this experience to represent my strength and my faith as strongly as possible, and maybe if I try hard enough, I can touch other peoples' lives.



-GP

This Too Shall Pass

Skillet - "Today, I'm gonna try a little harder,
                Gonna make every minute last longer,
                Gotta learn to forgive and forget
                'Cause we don't have long, gotta make the most of it."

Life has been pretty amazing lately, but today it was constantly bearing down on me.  Stress with school, stress with golf, stress with relationships, and now a boat load of worry about certain people...

My golf game has gone to the crapper.... I have just been getting SO consumed with being perfect that I've lost almost all love for the game I used to be obessed with.  IT'S JUST GOLF FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.  There's no reason to be getting so upset at myself.... life could be a hell of a lot worse, and I'm complaining about not performing well in a SPORT.  I've never felt so selfish before in my life.

Recently found out that someone I really care about (no names or hints, sorry) has veered down the wrong path.  She's convinced drinking is going to solve all of her stress and issues in life, and I'm worried for her.  She's a good person deep down, but it's apparent her 'friends' have influenced her into developing a lifestyle that just isn't healthy.  Although, we've had our problems in the past; I just can't sit on the sidelines while I watch her ruin the great things in her life (relationships with her true friends, family relationship, or even hurt herself).  I've probably prayed more in the past 6 hours than I have in the past week.  Hope someone or something gives her the strength to get through this road block.  If someone reading this could say a prayer for her, that would be great.

>>>Music will always be a way for me to channel my emotions.  Here's a song that's been getting me through today; I hope it does wonders for you like it has for me.

"One Day Too Late" ~Skillet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNEC735juI4



-GP

Emotional Hangover

Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Now that the dust has settled and I have calmed down a good bit, it's time to be mature about this situation....

The fact is, the last couple of days have been pretty rough for me..  I miss having her around, and although, I know what she did was wrong, I'm still starting to regret some things I did while in the 'titless relationship.'  Like my worrying. 

She did some things that made me relate back to an old ex of mine that treated me like dirt and eventually cheated on me.  Like she lied to me sometimes about the smallest things... like she'd tell me one day she told her mom something and the next day when I asked about it, her mom had never heard it.  My thought process on that is, "Ok, if she's gonna lie about something THAT insignificant, what else is she gonna lie about?"  Also, she completely changed personalities once I met her.  When I got introduced to her, she acted like she was this party girl who wanted to have fun (she had a boyfriend at the time), but once we started hanging out, she was someone different.  So I have to ask myself which one is really her?

Honestly, this whole 'no title' thing just scared the mess out of me too.  I talked to another Hoover girl named Jackie a while back, and she didn't want the title either but still wanted to hangout.  So we gave it a try.. A month and a half later I find out she's talking to two other guys from Spain Park, and when I confront her about it, she says "Well we aren't technically dating."

...The fact is, though, ALL of the above were most likely things that I over-analyzed.  Simple situations that my mind took and twisted them.  It got to the point where it ended up chasing someone I really cared about away.

I'm not a 'friggy-diggy' kind of dude, no matter how hard I want and try to be.  I am probably the most analytical person you will ever meet in your life, and frankly, that's been my achilles's heel so far in school, sports, and now relationships.  I promised her I would change before she broke it off, but I need to keep that promise.  Except now I need to keep it for myself.  No body wants someone around that over-analyzes everything, so it's time to just let go of my life and give all the control to God.




-GP

Everything Happens for a Reason

Thomas Fuller - "The day gets darkest just before dawn."

2012 has already brought some new changes to my life...

The girl I'm talking to decided it was best to break it off with me.  I can't say I wasn't expecting it to happen, but was hoping there would be some way around it.

It all started a couple of days before Christmas.  We had gone to her place like always to exchange gifts, but something didn't seem right..... we did everything we normally did, but it seemed like after a while she just didn't want me there anymore.  So the next days follow.... even though her mom says I should come visit, she tells me that her parents won't let her have people over; she just so happens to develope a sickness that won't allow her to see people even though I know she's hanging out with her friends; and new years she doesn't want to have anything to do with me.  All while she's telling me she misses me and really wants to hangout.....

I can't control the way people feel about me.  I realize that.  But what I will NOT take is people being dishonest and lying to me.  So it doesn't necessarily bother me that she decided to end it, but that she handled the situation like a coward.  There is no excuse for that.  It became apparent she wanted to party and hangout with her friends so in a sense I already knew it was coming anyway.

Of course i still have feelings for her.  She is an AWESOME woman, and I had a great time getting to know her and her family.  But this has happened before, and if it ends the same way it did last time, I need to think twice before pursuing her again.




-GP

NEW YEARS!

Benjamin Franklin - "Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."

New year.... brand new start.

2011-
There were so many great things that happened in my life... Was blessed enough to follow my dreams of playing college football and college golf; developed some great friendships; found out who I really was during hard times; met someone amazing; volunteered service hours; helped lead YMCA campers closer to God; brought myself closer to God; became mentally and physically stronger; increased my GPA significantly; and remained the same person I wanted to be.

2012- New Year's Resolutions:
1.) Trust my friends and family more.......... I have a horrible habbit of not trusting the people dearest to me; I need to let go of all the fear and uncertainty, give it all to God, and live life worry-free.
2.) I need to always get stronger in my faith.......... There is always room for improvement.
3.) Get in GOOD shape......... I have never really been embarrassed by the way I look, but I have never been fully satisfied either. Already started my workout routine, diet, and supplement routine so this is the year to turn it up.
4.) Develope better study habbits............ If I'm going to transfer to a 4-year university, I can't afford to stay static with my habbits.
5.) Start playing the guitar and piano again.......... I use this blog as something to channel my feelings into because it helps calm me down. Music is something that calms me down as well, and I miss being good at the guitar and piano.
6.) Be slow to anger............. I need help to remain calm in tough situations. Most of the things that anger me just aren't worth getting angry over.
7.) Branch out and meet new people............... self explanitory
8.) Develope a morning running routine............. If I'm going to stay in shape for the rest of my life, I need to start running daily.
9.) HAVE FUN WITH LIFE



-GP

Feliz Navidad!

Eric Sevareid - "Christmas is a necessity.  There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something besides ourselves."

CHRISTMAS WAS AWESOME......and I'm not even talking about the gifts.

The whole family came home for Christmas as usual and the good times started....
BELL RINGER:
I had to have 12 hours of volunteer service to pass my business class this semester, and it was down to the last weekend.  We called the Salvation Army haha and they said I could be a bell ringer.  At first I was so pumped, but when I got to the mall (Galleria in front of Belk), I'll admit I was embarrassed out of my mind.  Something about ringing a little bell, asking for money doesn't really excite me in a great way, but I'm happy I did it (even though I've never seen so many people trying to ignore me before haha)!
DECEMBER 22ND:
Found out suddenly that I needed a gift for the girl I'm talking to (girlfriend? yeah, haha whatever), so I search Francesca's and find something, but did not see anything good... so then headed to Private Gallery and after an hour of indecisiveness (real word?) and one of the girls there helping me, I found something legit! So now it's off to the Hoover chick's house to exchange gifts! The gifts were cool, but I was just happy to chill with her....we haven't since (not sure why) but hopefully we will soon; no reason to stress about it.
DECEMBER 24TH:
Christmas eve service with family and friends....WAS AWESOME.
CHRISTMAS DAY:
WAS AWESOME.  It was one of the first Christmas's in years that my family had been financially stable, so we all were able to go hard on the gifts we got for each other this year... I hate to be cheesy, but it really felt great.
DECEMBER 26TH - 28TH:
The fam dipped over to my mom's hometown of Tunica, Mississippi to visit the fam and so the guys could go hunting!  We were full of anticipation about hunting, but WE. SAW. NOTHING.  Ever since the tornados last April, the deer population on our land have been extremely low because the Mississippi River flooded, but give it 3 or so years and things will be back to normal!



-GP

Struggles

Anonymous - "Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.  If we were to go through life without any obstacles, we would be crippled.  We would not be as strong as we could have been.  Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets."

This is going to be a short and sweet post so get ready..

I have been focusing WAY too much on strengthening my body instead of my mind and my faith.  My body has gotten stronger, but with that has come a lot of anger and a lot of stress.  I have been getting SO upset at the smallest things...... golf, family, friends......  It's horrible and it's not who I want to be.

Aside from my recent anger problems my faith is in trouble.  I have not prayed outside of church in what feels like forever, I do not touch my Bible anymore, and at times I feel so lazy with my faith.

The solution I see is to involve myself in a better group of friends, become more involved in church and prayer (I have been slacking a ton on the latter), get a good night's sleep every night, try to stay calm, and just have fun again.



-GP