Emotional Hangover

Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Now that the dust has settled and I have calmed down a good bit, it's time to be mature about this situation....

The fact is, the last couple of days have been pretty rough for me..  I miss having her around, and although, I know what she did was wrong, I'm still starting to regret some things I did while in the 'titless relationship.'  Like my worrying. 

She did some things that made me relate back to an old ex of mine that treated me like dirt and eventually cheated on me.  Like she lied to me sometimes about the smallest things... like she'd tell me one day she told her mom something and the next day when I asked about it, her mom had never heard it.  My thought process on that is, "Ok, if she's gonna lie about something THAT insignificant, what else is she gonna lie about?"  Also, she completely changed personalities once I met her.  When I got introduced to her, she acted like she was this party girl who wanted to have fun (she had a boyfriend at the time), but once we started hanging out, she was someone different.  So I have to ask myself which one is really her?

Honestly, this whole 'no title' thing just scared the mess out of me too.  I talked to another Hoover girl named Jackie a while back, and she didn't want the title either but still wanted to hangout.  So we gave it a try.. A month and a half later I find out she's talking to two other guys from Spain Park, and when I confront her about it, she says "Well we aren't technically dating."

...The fact is, though, ALL of the above were most likely things that I over-analyzed.  Simple situations that my mind took and twisted them.  It got to the point where it ended up chasing someone I really cared about away.

I'm not a 'friggy-diggy' kind of dude, no matter how hard I want and try to be.  I am probably the most analytical person you will ever meet in your life, and frankly, that's been my achilles's heel so far in school, sports, and now relationships.  I promised her I would change before she broke it off, but I need to keep that promise.  Except now I need to keep it for myself.  No body wants someone around that over-analyzes everything, so it's time to just let go of my life and give all the control to God.




-GP