A New Beginning

Carl Band - "Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and create a brand new ending."

Wake-up call.

Life's lead me into different directions these past months.  I love Mississippi State, but I feel a lot of the people here and in my program don't have the same values as I do.  With that, it's almost lead me to become a separate person than I started out to be.  Now I'm not talking about becoming a druggy, womanizer, or anything like that.  The things I'm referring to simply aren't that big of a deal to some people, but it is huge to me.

So I turned 21 in August.  Yeah, and as you're assuming rightfully, I started drinking.  It was and has been a lot of fun, and I think it is an okay thing to do in a controlled manner; I've had a lot of great times going out, getting drunk with friends, but there's my conscience that always tells me the next morning: "Listen, this isn't who you are."

I don't have too much choice in who I spend my time around.  The kids in my program are really all I see and because of that all I really know outside of school.  They are funny and great kids, but man, there is so much negativity, trash-talk, and cussing going around.  I can feel all of it just bringing me down, and even starting to respond to others in that way as well.

The worst night of my life started Saturday night.  I was headed home from Tuscaloosa after a night of drinking followed by a morning of playing golf and my stomach just didn't feel right.  Try to lay down in my bed to make the pain go away once I'm back, but slowly it becomes apparent I'm going to end up throwing-up soon.  My prediction was unfortunately correct.  I'll spare the details, but I end up loosing thirteen pounds in just under nine hours due to food poisoning. Just horrible.

In that moment of my lowest of lows, it hit me how far off the intended path I strayed.  Looking back on where I was my senior year of high school, I would hate the person I am right now.  I say I represent God and am a follower of Christ, but what good am I doing?  What- I'm a Christian during the week, but I take time off during the weekends?  What kind of crap is that?

So as I'm leaning over the toilet late Saturday night grabbing my stomach, wishing this awful night would stop, it hits me.  I'm getting rid of all the bad stuff inside my body and starting over, so why not do the same with my bad habits?

Now that the sickness has surpassed and school is slowly ending, I have now set my mind on the end goal of improving my weaknesses into the person I would be proud to be.  It will be a tough road, but nothing I'm sure I can't handle with a little faith.




-GP